Ladies, as far as we know, we only get one kick of the ball. The present is a gift. I’m no sitting Buddha, but I do believe that we only have today. Finding good, healthy and nurturing love was at the very top of my agenda, after my 2 disastrous marriages. I’m not ashamed of this. After kissing way too many frogs and, regrettably, getting spliced with two of them, aged 43, there really was no time like the present, so I got on down to it, got out there and got my hands dirty!
If you’re going to succeed, you have to give your love search the absolute top priority it deserves. There can be no shilly-shallying nor approval-seeking from anyone else. This is YOUR life and YOUR emotional business. The only people worth consulting are those who already have what you want, i.e. a rounded life where a loving is a big part of the equation – though not all of it.
Only you can decide what your life versus love priorities are, but I guarantee that the more thought, planning and you put effort into this, the more spectacular will be your results.
If nobody cares for the carer (that’s you), then you’re giving to a relationship from a big, black, bottomless void – a place of incompleteness and nothingness. That doesn’t make you attractive to a potential partner, nor is it any good for you. Think about it – good vibes are infectious.
You owe it to yourself to put yourself at the very top of your caring list. This isn’t selfish. In actual fact, it’s exceedingly selfish not to do this, because if you run on empty, others, primarily you’re nearest and dearest, including friends and family, will suffer. If you look after yourself, you can give more of yourself. This attracts people to you like a magnet.
There could be multiple demands on your time – not least of all kids who may not relish the thought of Mum going out there looking for a hot date – who could rock the status quo. There are so many variables which can make it challenging. As we age, we can be subject to role reversal, caring for elderly parents. Perhaps you’re confined to a geographical location. You value your own space and time and may find it harder to change your ways.
At the end of the day, it’s back to questioning how strong is your motivation? You, and you alone have to balance the scales.
The crucial four letter words on the road to love – hope and work. Okay. So I have acknowledged that it’s tough. But there are ways in which to manage re-entry into Planet Dating. It’s my experience, and that of my coaching clients, that unless we plan our journey, we won’t know where we’re going, how to get there or how to achieve what we want. After all – this is YOUR life and YOUR happiness we’re talking about.
Time is precious – so let’s not mess about! You’ve achieved in your professional life and in other areas – now you must apply the same dedication and energy to finding love. The quest for love is truly worthy of your time and is certainly not trivial. Go for it!