positive attitude

How to shovel yourself out of the shit!

August 16  |  Adversity, Mindfulness, motivation, overcoming adversity, Self-Help, self-reinvention, self-transformation, single women  |   Cynthia









We all feel down in the mouth at times. It’s part of being human. However, we needn’t stay there for long. Here are some simple tips to help dig yourself out of the vortex.

Prioritise your physical well-being

Practise physical self-love – stop punishing your body – treat yourself to nourishing and healthy foods. A car won’t run properly and reach its destination without the right fuel. Cut down on booze and pills. Pamper yourself. Don’t get into the debating society on this. You deserve it. Find a form of manageable and above all enjoyable exercise in which you can indulge regularly.

Take charge of your emotional state

Claim courage and take responsibility. Accept that we’re not responsible for the tragedies which happen to us but we are responsible for how we react to them and the messes we make of our lives. Identify which areas you play the victim in. Break these areas into bite-size chunks which you can then tackle. Pump yourself right out of that victim mentality. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Care enough about yourself to learn to lighten up. Look for the humorous side in your situation – it really is there, even if you have to emotionally contort yourself to find it. Do so because it’ll be worth it and be measured by the enormous sense of relief you’ll feel.
Stop the name and blame game – take responsibility where you need to and discard the rest. These habits completely destroy your inner power, because they prove that you’re still expecting solutions and changes from others. You’ve no power over anyone else but yourself.

When you’re wallowing in an orgy of self-pity, stop enjoying it. Force yourself out of that tangled up, childish, emotional nappy. What do nappies contain? So why stay there drowning in it? Take positive daily action to help yourself, no matter how seemingly insignificant or minute. This can be as simple as calling an encouraging friend, when all you want to do is sit and stare into space. Small actions like this will propel you out of the navel-gazing, analysis/paralysis syndrome and you’ll soon begin to feel immeasurably better.
Don’t indulge in negative talk. What you focus on expands and what doesn’t get taught, gets caught. Don’t touch it with a bargepole. Read inspiring literature. Keep a gratitude list, not a hit list. Write down five things every night which you’re grateful for, then review your list in the morning. The blessings are always there, even in the worst situation.

Take responsibility for your feelings and reactions.

You’re in charge of your life – no one else. Don’t be immobilised by or afraid of failure. Most seemingly successful people have made it after disastrous failures. Simply pick yourself up, dust yourself down and move on with belief and determination.
Don’t be a victim to others’ expectations. Be yourself at all times. Stop being a people-pleaser and a chameleon. There’s never any need to seek anyone else’s approval but your own and in this area practice does make perfect. Keep your own counsel and have the courage of your own convictions. If you have erred, don’t beat yourself up. Use that energy to forgive yourself.

Stick with the winners and not the whiners

Stick with the winners. Stay resolutely away from people with victim mentalities. Find someone you trust to help you to make a realistic appraisal of your situation. Treat yourself to a mental clear out. Find a support network with positive peer role models. There are thousands of resources out there for every area and every stage of our lives. When you’ve found your role model, be brave enough to ask for help and copy what they do as best you can. What’s the downside?

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Shaken but not stirred – the phoenix shall rise again!

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August 13  |  Fitness and the mature woman  |   Cynthia

They say life happens when you make other plans.  Do I know that one well!

Yesterday I was all set to carry on with my Silver Vixen Reclaim Your Body Challenge. I was motoring, and was up with the lark, brought HM Peter breakfast in bed and set off to walk Lola and her boyfriend Bailey.  Three-quarters of the way round the park, I was suddenly felled by a large marauding hound who knocked me for six, sending  me and my glasses flying. I landed somewhat inelegantly in a heap – right onto my hooter, feeling a hideous “ouch” moment in my foot as I went down. Snap, crackle and pop! Just like the old Rice Crispies advert.

The offending mutt made off at  high speed with its owner, leaving me to find my specs, whilst contemporaneously attempting to manage 2 dogs and get up off the ground.

My very first thought was that this was going to ruin my swimming challenge.  I hoped the pain would wear off but I eventually ended up in A & E in the afternoon and am now hobbling about on crutches, with a hooter the size of a large potato. Beautiful, I do not look right now!

So it’s confined to barracks and no swimming for now. However, my previous vast experience of overcoming adversity, has taught me through the school of hard knocks, to turn a negative into a positive.  So I’ve dusted myself and my crutches down, and am determined to get over this obstacle asap without losing too much of my fitness momentum.

Notes to self:

  • When the going gets tough – the tough get going – and I’m tough!
  • When life gives you lemons – make lemonade
  • This will only derail me if I allow it to
  • Hey presto – plenty of time to work on my book!
  • The Swim The Channel Charity Challenge doesn’t start until 7 September
  • Si on veut, on peut – where there’s a will, there’s a way
  • There’s always a bright – and a funny side – to absolutely EVERYTHING!



No oil painting today!

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